guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Randomize
