The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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