I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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