so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
