You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
