Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
