a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
