I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize