So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize