I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
