Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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