I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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