so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
