i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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