are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
