We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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