But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
