You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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