So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
