I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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