so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
