So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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