I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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