Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
