...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
