What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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