I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
