Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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