they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize