Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize