You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
