if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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