Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
