i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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