Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
babies were throwing up all over the place
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize