i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
