bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
