Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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