Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
