Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just pee around me
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize