he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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