i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
