I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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