I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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