id be glad to
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
smell my finger.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
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do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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