11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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