spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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