I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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