I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
