And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
