My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
