butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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