I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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