the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
