blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
