I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
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He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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