Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
