Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize