Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
