Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Randomize
