We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
