May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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